Hollywoke -- A thread for Tinseltown's Tailspin into Televangelism

[devnull]

 

[Crap Throwing Clavin]

17 minutes ago, devnull said:

 

 

Are there any properties left to destroy at this point?  Maybe a woke Terminator?

 

 

Edited June 8 by Crap Throwing Clavin

[Boyst]

On 6/6/2024 at 5:39 PM, Ann said:

I'm getting to the point where I want to cancel all my apps and watch old movies on DVD.

Now, get off my lawn.

Pluto TV is free. Great old shows. 

[devnull]

1 hour ago, Boyst said:

Pluto TV is free. Great old shows. 

 

A dedicated Star Trek channel

A dedicated Stargate channel

 

And another "More Trek Channel"

 

[bdutton]

I watch Pluto every night.  Mostly the Stargate channel but sometimes they have some great movies too.

[Nanker]

 

 

[Uncle Joe]

On 6/8/2024 at 12:29 PM, Crap Throwing Clavin said:

 

Are there any properties left to destroy at this point?  Maybe a woke Terminator?

 

 

I saw the latest Terminator. Basically Linda Hamilton has been smoking three packs a day this century and only knows how to say Phuck in a raspy voice. Then there is the token gender neutral mutant. 

I think the critical drinker passed out watching the movie.

[devnull]

On 6/8/2024 at 3:29 PM, Crap Throwing Clavin said:

 

Are there any properties left to destroy at this point?  Maybe a woke Terminator?

 

 

 

If we're gonna wokify a classic, let's go full throttle and remake...Airplane!

 

Striker will of course be a woman of color.  The name will of course have to be changed from the toxically masculine sounding "striker"

 

Elain Dickinson can still be a white woman.  Lesbian of course.  And the name "Dickinson" will have to be changed

 

Leslie Nielsen's character will be renamed Leslie, not in honor of the comedic legend.  But because the doctor will be transgender

 

McCroskey will be allowed to be played by a white male and the character's focus will be on overcoming his substance abuse

 

Captain Oveur will be recast as a Turkish immigrant, sharing his tales of incarceration

 

Kareem Abdul Jabbar's part will be played by Brittany Griner

 

Rex Kramer will be played by The Rock

 

The Jive Brothers will be African immigrants speaking fluent English

 

The Jive Lady will be a Karen

[Boyst]

3 hours ago, devnull said:

 

If we're gonna wokify a classic, let's go full throttle and remake...Airplane!

 

Striker will of course be a woman of color.  The name will of course have to be changed from the toxically masculine sounding "striker"

 

Elain Dickinson can still be a white woman.  Lesbian of course.  And the name "Dickinson" will have to be changed

 

Leslie Nielsen's character will be renamed Leslie, not in honor of the comedic legend.  But because the doctor will be transgender

 

McCroskey will be allowed to be played by a white male and the character's focus will be on overcoming his substance abuse

 

Captain Oveur will be recast as a Turkish immigrant, sharing his tales of incarceration

 

 

Kareem Abdul Jabbar's part will be played by Brittany Griner

 

Rex Kramer will be played by The Rock

 

3 hours ago, devnull said:

The Jive Brothers will be African immigrants speaking fluent English

Chevy Chase & Will Farrel in blackface.

 

3 hours ago, devnull said:

The Jive Lady will be a Karen

Julia Louise Dryfus

 

[Deranged Rhino]

Tale of two movies

 

 

 

Bad Boys was a lot of fun (but I'm a fan of the franchise). 

 

 

[Crap Throwing Clavin]

"...discount Ezra Miller, which I realize is a misleading name, since it implies that Ezra Miller has any intrinsic value to begin with..."

 

This is just killing me.    I swear, The Acolyte can't possibly be as entertaining as the reviews of it are.

 

 

[devnull]

1 hour ago, Crap Throwing Clavin said:

"...discount Ezra Miller, which I realize is a misleading name, since it implies that Ezra Miller has any intrinsic value to begin with..."

 

This is just killing me.    I swear, The Acolyte can't possibly be as entertaining as the reviews of it are.

 

 

 

I love how he doesn't even bothering with the character names

 

Strong Female Antagonist

Strong Female Character #1

Strong Female Character #2

Strong Female Character #3

Dumb Male Character

 

And of course...Token White Guy

[Nouseforaname]

[Crap Throwing Clavin]

1 hour ago, Nouseforaname said:

 

 

And she...he...hell, it is still pissed off.

[Nouseforaname]

On 6/10/2024 at 8:25 PM, Crap Throwing Clavin said:

"...discount Ezra Miller, which I realize is a misleading name, since it implies that Ezra Miller has any intrinsic value to begin with..."

 

This is just killing me.    I swear, The Acolyte can't possibly be as entertaining as the reviews of it are.

 

 

Hilarious but nothing is as bad as obi wan.

 

 

[Ann]

On 6/10/2024 at 7:25 PM, Crap Throwing Clavin said:

"...discount Ezra Miller, which I realize is a misleading name, since it implies that Ezra Miller has any intrinsic value to begin with..."

 

This is just killing me.    I swear, The Acolyte can't possibly be as entertaining as the reviews of it are.

 

 

The comments are   
 

“The token white guy looked into the future and saw the rest of the script. Then drank the poison to escape this universe as fast as possible.”

“Dear Acolyte writers, that South Park episode was a parody, not an instruction manual. Try again”

 

2023 - "why are all the 'writers' worried about AI taking their jobs?"
2024 - watching the Acolyte - "oh"

 

 

And wow…

 

”The acolyte has a budget of $180M. The budget for the original trilogy, adjusted for inflation for 1983-2024 is around $193M in TOTAL. Let that sink in for a second.”

 

[Nouseforaname]

1 hour ago, Ann said:

The comments are   
 

“The token white guy looked into the future and saw the rest of the script. Then drank the poison to escape this universe as fast as possible.”

“Dear Acolyte writers, that South Park episode was a parody, not an instruction manual. Try again”

 

2023 - "why are all the 'writers' worried about AI taking their jobs?"
2024 - watching the Acolyte - "oh"

 

 

And wow…

 

”The acolyte has a budget of $180M. The budget for the original trilogy, adjusted for inflation for 1983-2024 is around $193M in TOTAL. Let that sink in for a second.”

 

As long as there is no reference to sky walker or palpatine, it starts at a 7 on 10.

[devnull]

7 hours ago, Nouseforaname said:

As long as there is no reference to sky walker or palpatine, it starts at a 7 on 10.

 

IIRC Acolyte predates the prequel trilogy.

 

I doubt they refer to Skywalker or Palpatine directly.  Perhaps indirectly via "prophesy"

[Nouseforaname]

29 minutes ago, devnull said:

 

IIRC Acolyte predates the prequel trilogy.

 

I doubt they refer to Skywalker or Palpatine directly.  Perhaps indirectly via "prophesy"

Somehow palpatine went back to the future.

[devnull]

1 minute ago, Nouseforaname said:

Somehow palpatine went back to the future.

 

For the love of Christ, don't give them ideas

 

Star Wars does not need time travel.  That stupid Force Matrix from Reblels and Ahsoka is bad enough